So Roger and I have started a daily devotions for dating couples, we are on day 3 and have 9 weeks to go. The first week is focusing on love, and what true love really is. The thing that has stuck with me the most, is that we can not truly love another human until we have experienced the love of the lord! Maybe experienced isn't the correct word.. We have to accept the love of the Lord, and then recepercate this love back to him.
Our lord has to be our one true love, the one that we desire and long for... This love, longing and desire has to come before any other love. I truly think we can't love another without loving God first! The Lord's love is real, and true, and unconditional, and raw, and even painful at times. But its still pure and refreshing... This is the type of love that I want in my life, but I know that if I don't have this love with the lord first, I will never be able to love another unconditionally.
If we allow our spiritual flame to fizzle out with the Lord, it is only a matter a time before our flames in our earthly relationships will fizzle out too..
Keep your love for the lord first, seek him, long for him daily, and you will expierence true love! And then only then can you truly love another...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Life
Wow, I can't even remember the last time I have been to this website.... I was so excited that I was going to be able to write and share my thoughts with all of you.. But some how life took over. Part of me wants to say "that's life'' but another part of me feels like I have been neglecting all of you, myself, but mostly the Lord. God has blessed me with a gift, and my gift has nothing to do with writing ( I still have a long way to go when it comes to being a "good writer") but the Lord has blessed with a story that is to be shared. My story isn't just one story,its an on going story. And as life started and took over, I stopped telling my story! And for that I apologize. I can only hope that I do better from here on out.
Why now you ask? I don't know, maybe I don't want life to take over, maybe I want to take over my life! Where I am today, is a blessing from God, and I am forever grateful. But I am honest and can say that I have taken life for granted.
We are only given this one life, embrace it, all of it. There is going to be good and bad times, but that's life. Praise God for your life, and live it for his will. There is no other way!
My past has made me who I am today, and who I am today is going to make me who I will be in the future.
Why now you ask? I don't know, maybe I don't want life to take over, maybe I want to take over my life! Where I am today, is a blessing from God, and I am forever grateful. But I am honest and can say that I have taken life for granted.
We are only given this one life, embrace it, all of it. There is going to be good and bad times, but that's life. Praise God for your life, and live it for his will. There is no other way!
My past has made me who I am today, and who I am today is going to make me who I will be in the future.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Saved
September 6th 2007 is such a significant date in my life for so many reasons. I am sure most of you can think of one or two. But today I am going to write about one that most of you may not know about.
September 6 2007 is when I found myself in the hospital. Why? The hospital called it an apparent suicide attempt. True? Yes! See for the 2 days prior to that, I took almost 48 pills. I just wanted to sleep. When I slept I didn't feel. I didn't have to live with the pain, regret, anger, and guilt. When I slept I didn't have to accept the truth.
Everytime I would wake up I would just take more pills. So many things had happened in my life that I new the time was coming that my actions were going to have a major impact on so many people around me. I thought this "apparent suicide attempt" would save them the anger and disappointment that they would feel. As you can see I was being selfish, and thinking only of myself. What about the sadness and the guilt that those who care so much for me would feel?
Something happened to me that day. When I woke up, instead of reaching for another pill, I grabbed my phone. I texted my bestfriend and told her I needed to go to the hospital. I remember her asking me why? My response "I took to many pills, I need help" Things from the point on are a little hazy. I don't remember the drive, or much of the hospital visit. What I do remember from that day is I started to feel.
Looking back on that day, I didn't have a relationship with the Lord, but he had one with me. The day that I tried to take my life, the Lord saved it. And for that I am forever grateful. Who am I that he cared enough to spare my life? I am his!
Not only did he save my life, physically. he saved me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I was saved on September 6 2007 because Jesus gave up his own life so that I could live.
September 6 2007 is when I found myself in the hospital. Why? The hospital called it an apparent suicide attempt. True? Yes! See for the 2 days prior to that, I took almost 48 pills. I just wanted to sleep. When I slept I didn't feel. I didn't have to live with the pain, regret, anger, and guilt. When I slept I didn't have to accept the truth.
Everytime I would wake up I would just take more pills. So many things had happened in my life that I new the time was coming that my actions were going to have a major impact on so many people around me. I thought this "apparent suicide attempt" would save them the anger and disappointment that they would feel. As you can see I was being selfish, and thinking only of myself. What about the sadness and the guilt that those who care so much for me would feel?
Something happened to me that day. When I woke up, instead of reaching for another pill, I grabbed my phone. I texted my bestfriend and told her I needed to go to the hospital. I remember her asking me why? My response "I took to many pills, I need help" Things from the point on are a little hazy. I don't remember the drive, or much of the hospital visit. What I do remember from that day is I started to feel.
Looking back on that day, I didn't have a relationship with the Lord, but he had one with me. The day that I tried to take my life, the Lord saved it. And for that I am forever grateful. Who am I that he cared enough to spare my life? I am his!
Not only did he save my life, physically. he saved me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I was saved on September 6 2007 because Jesus gave up his own life so that I could live.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Strength
Everytime I feel week it amazes me how just a single thought of the Lord can strengthen me. Having the Lord with me is a constant reminder that no matter what stands before me I can overcome it, with him!
Even when I am at my lowest and I am feeling my weakest whether it be mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually, I know that all I have to do is surrender and give it all to him. And in doing that I am at my strongest.
Being able to surrender yourself to the Lord in low moments, takes courage. I know for me, in those moments, I feel extremely vulnerable. Its as if all of my insecurities and secrets are exposed.
But for me it takes exposure and vulnerability to realize, that this is not my life. I am not in control! And in order for me to face what lies a head, I need the Lord and his strength. My strength is not enough.
2 Cor 12:10 For When I am weak I am strong.
When I am weak, is when I have stopped battling, thrown in the towel and surrendered! See I tend to forget that these battles are not mine to fight. I already have victory, I have the Lord. I constantly remind myself that surrendering to Lord is strength.
I want to be weak all the days of my life, because I want to walk with the Lord all the days of my life, and he is all the strength that I need!
Even when I am at my lowest and I am feeling my weakest whether it be mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually, I know that all I have to do is surrender and give it all to him. And in doing that I am at my strongest.
Being able to surrender yourself to the Lord in low moments, takes courage. I know for me, in those moments, I feel extremely vulnerable. Its as if all of my insecurities and secrets are exposed.
But for me it takes exposure and vulnerability to realize, that this is not my life. I am not in control! And in order for me to face what lies a head, I need the Lord and his strength. My strength is not enough.
2 Cor 12:10 For When I am weak I am strong.
When I am weak, is when I have stopped battling, thrown in the towel and surrendered! See I tend to forget that these battles are not mine to fight. I already have victory, I have the Lord. I constantly remind myself that surrendering to Lord is strength.
I want to be weak all the days of my life, because I want to walk with the Lord all the days of my life, and he is all the strength that I need!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Unspeakable
So lastnight on my way home I found myself staring out the window up at the sky (don't worry I wasn't driving) talking to God. Or at least I was trying to talk to him. But I couldn't find the words.
At first this started to scare me! It's not like me to not have anything to say, especially to God. Trust me I am a talker... As I sat there searching for words, tears started to form in my eyes. Does this mean, I am falling away from the Lord? If I can' t talk to him, how is he going to hear me? To be honest for the split second I felt so far away from him.
As we continued our drive, I closed my eyes, shut my mind off, and opened my heart. And at that moment, I felt so peaceful... As I rested in this peace, I begun to understand. I was having a moment with God, and it was a moment that didn't need any words. With a moment like this, there are no words to be spoken. It was about resting in the presence of the Lord. It was about love and trust.
Here I was causing myself to almost have an anxiety attack, because I couldn't find the words to be said to God, and wondering if I was so far away from him that he could not hear me. But the reality of this is, I have never been closer to him.
See I have been taught to talk. Talk about your feelings, emotions, fears, and everything in between. I always thought that as long as I talk, everything will be ok. But the Lord taught me something lastnight. Sometimes you just can't talk about it. There are no words. But just because we don't have the words, doesn't mean he can't hear us. The Lord knows our hearts!
If I wasn't seat belted into my seat, this was a moment that would of brought me to my knees. Our God is a great God!
At first this started to scare me! It's not like me to not have anything to say, especially to God. Trust me I am a talker... As I sat there searching for words, tears started to form in my eyes. Does this mean, I am falling away from the Lord? If I can' t talk to him, how is he going to hear me? To be honest for the split second I felt so far away from him.
As we continued our drive, I closed my eyes, shut my mind off, and opened my heart. And at that moment, I felt so peaceful... As I rested in this peace, I begun to understand. I was having a moment with God, and it was a moment that didn't need any words. With a moment like this, there are no words to be spoken. It was about resting in the presence of the Lord. It was about love and trust.
Here I was causing myself to almost have an anxiety attack, because I couldn't find the words to be said to God, and wondering if I was so far away from him that he could not hear me. But the reality of this is, I have never been closer to him.
See I have been taught to talk. Talk about your feelings, emotions, fears, and everything in between. I always thought that as long as I talk, everything will be ok. But the Lord taught me something lastnight. Sometimes you just can't talk about it. There are no words. But just because we don't have the words, doesn't mean he can't hear us. The Lord knows our hearts!
If I wasn't seat belted into my seat, this was a moment that would of brought me to my knees. Our God is a great God!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
First and Foremost
Well hello everyone, so my lovely sister Mandy thought that this would be a good Idea for me, since I love to journal. And the more that I thought about, I had to agree with her. I titled my blog as Stefany's Thoughts, and I think that pretty much sums it up! My goal with this Blog is to share my thoughts, opinion's, and even special moments that may take place. What you may get from this on a daily basis could be something simple to maybe something profound.
I will share with you my desires and passions. But most importantly with my new found "Blogging" you will get an up close and personal look with my walk with the Lord. Most of you have seen my walk grow and have even been a part of my growth, and for that I am most grateful. Each of you have been such a blessing to me...
Each of us has our own personal relationship with Jesus. And our relationships with him are so precious and sacred. For the longest time I didn't want to share what I have with him. My time with him is my time, which is still true. But I am also I light for him. I want to share what I have, just maybe by my thoughts and personal walk with the Lord, I can bring someone that much closer to him.
The Lord desires a intimate relationship with each one of us. His love and faithfulness is at times far more than we can ever understand. But it is so real. I have experienced his love and faithfulness first hand, and I have been blessed in ways that I could never truly explain to you in words.
I will share with you my desires and passions. But most importantly with my new found "Blogging" you will get an up close and personal look with my walk with the Lord. Most of you have seen my walk grow and have even been a part of my growth, and for that I am most grateful. Each of you have been such a blessing to me...
Each of us has our own personal relationship with Jesus. And our relationships with him are so precious and sacred. For the longest time I didn't want to share what I have with him. My time with him is my time, which is still true. But I am also I light for him. I want to share what I have, just maybe by my thoughts and personal walk with the Lord, I can bring someone that much closer to him.
The Lord desires a intimate relationship with each one of us. His love and faithfulness is at times far more than we can ever understand. But it is so real. I have experienced his love and faithfulness first hand, and I have been blessed in ways that I could never truly explain to you in words.
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